Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Me Against the World

I've been thinking about quitting my virtual assistant job on and off for some time now. Only this time, I'm not falling for it. Knowing me, I'm just bored right now with what I do, day in and day out, 50 hours a week. These feelings of boredom and negativity work-wise usually happen every year from November until about January when all I wanna do is vegetate, or vacay somewhere exotic, or watch my favorite DVD movies, or read all my unread books. If only I can afford it. Sigh. We got seven more years to go with the house mortgage and 2 more years with the car. Add to that our monthly credit card, utility, insurance and miscellaneous bills then it's easy to see why it would be a huge mistake to get carried away with the current flow of my emotions. Timing-wise, the answer is a clear and big NO. But oh God, my whole being is just screaming for FREEDOM! And if and when I finally do get my FREEDOM from online work, I just want to focus most of my energy (and neuroses) on my beaded accessories and my Sexy Nomad apparel biz. Double sigh. Sometimes, being a responsible adult sucks... big time!

So anyway, I consulted my Spirit Guides about it through my Tarot Card. I got a major arcana card, which just proves that what I'm dealing with right now is no simple matter. It's not as mundane as the usual answers I get from my usual requests (things like should I go to this & that event? ...should I wear these clothes? ..should I get out of the house? ...should I travel at this time? etc...). The card that I've drawn --- THE WORLD --- is actually telling me something a lot deeper and more important:

The World is a card which represents completion.

A major element of happiness is wholeness - the sense that everything is working together in harmony. Not in a static way, but with dynamic balance. Involvement is also important. To be happy, we must feel connected - engaged with what is around us. There is also accomplishment - knowing that we have goals and are moving toward them successfully. When all these elements come together, we feel fulfilled and blessed.

The World represents these moments and all that goes into them. In readings, it is a very positive sign that you are in a position to realize your heart's desire. What that is for you depends on the situation, but it will always feel great. Remember, though, that Card 21 is a symbol of active contribution and service.

So there is the answer right before my eyes. Somehow, it's telling me what I already know about myself but I usually forget when I get hormonal, stressed and burnt out. The problem is, I am not very engaged and involved in the work that I do. I write, research about stuff and do SEO on sites that I'm really not passionate about and it sucks. And every time I'm at work, I just want to do a million other different things... things that I actually love doing.

On the other hand, looking at the more positive side of the situation, and despite the fact that I have a million small wants and desires, I actually only have a handful of big goals. Slowly, with the little free time that I have left every day, I will continue taking steps to successfully realize these goals of mine, no matter how big or impossible they may seem for me sometimes. What I need to do is to keep doing what I'm doing (active contribution and service like what the card says) and in time, I'll find myself basking in my true happiness. To hold the World in my hands, I must give myself to it, even if it means doing the things I don't particularly like. When all these elements come together, then I'd feel fulfilled and blessed.

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