It's been a while since I last held my deck of tarot cards. I've been pretty much busy with my moving on process (Read related post here: 100 Happy Days Project - I'm Back!) that I forgot to seek guidance from my trusted spirit guides through my tarot cards.
So today, after waking up at 4 am and playing in the kitchen to make an all-day pasta feast, I rested for a little while in the living room, propped myself up for meditation and saw my deck sitting on the wooden bench. I picked it up, opened the box and dealt the cards as I asked my spirit guides to let me know if I am somehow on the right track with my most current decisions (which is to find true love... see related post here: My Quest for Finding True Love Begins Now and to soon have a baby).
This was the card that I picked: Temperance
This card is a Major Arcana card which means that whatever I was asking guidance for, it really involves a major life change for me, which it does! Imagine, I am looking for my forever happy ever after prince charming who will possibly father my future kids (Bubbles and Fluffy, yeah they already have names).
Anyway, what this card means in particular is this:
"There is harmony between your desires and your needs and you are mentally and emotionally in balance."
EMERGEEEERRRDDD!!! Come to think of it, this is the very first time since I learned how to read tarot cards, that I ever picked up this card! And it's saying that I am mentally and emotionally in balance! That my needs and desires are a match! FINALLY!!! After years and years of going through depressive and manic episodes, I am finally in equilibrium. I have been feeling it lately. And now, even my spirit guides through my tarot cards say so. THIS IS SIMPLY AMAZING!!!
Furthermore, the card Temperance is saying that:
"If you are trying to make a decision, you will find a solution, and it will be much easier to see another person's point of view. "
Another OMG moment! Wasn't it just last night that I posted on Facebook that for the first time, what my good friend Michelle told me about having a baby got through to my heart. The post went like this:
OMG OMG OMG!!! What an inspiring revelation! So a real good friend of mine who's now living in Kenya, Michelle Castaneda, and I have been chatting. Told her I do want a baby but I want to put everything else in place first, like my finances, job stability, etc. But she said, and these are her exact words: "But I do not agree that you save first before having a baby. Money can come but time we can't get it back. I'm telling you the baby will fit in."
OMG! The same message was given to me by my family and other close friends. But I did not listen (tigas talaga ulo eh!). And for some reason, when Michelle told me this, it just hit through my heart. Okay, let's do this! PROJECT BABY... Target date? At least before I hit 39! Is that too long? Sige 38... or maybe 37.5. Hahaha! Uy, seryoso koh! Tick tock, tick tock... (^_^)
Before this episode with Michelle, I would stick by my rules and belief that I can't have a baby at this time until I get to achieve goals A, B, C, etc. I even had a major disagreement about it with my best friend Hanz the other night (thanks for your patience bessy). Then Michelle talked to me and for some reason, everything just got so clear in my heart and in my head... yeah, let's do this baby!
Moreover, as a future card, the card Temperance is also saying that:
"You will have to moderate your desires and try to see both sides of an argument. But clarification of your true goals or aspirations is coming your way. There will soon be clarity, harmony, mutual respect and healing energy for any existing emotional wounds or confusions. It will be generated by your search for the happy medium."
Before yesterday, I was so adamant about how I wanted my life to be. I was thinking, now that I am "single" again, I should pursue those dreams I never had before no matter how shallow they may seem... like being a millionaire, finding prince charming, getting proposed at in front of Eiffel Tower in Paris, having my beach wedding, then making babies and building my own happy family. I wanted them IN THAT ORDER. No ifs, no buts. Ika nga in my own dialect, mangangarap ka na rin lang, lubus-lubusin mo na!
But you know, life is like a box full of chocolates, you never really know what you're going to get. You can control as much of it as you want, but time you can't control... time is ticking... and I am running out of it. Money, I can always earn... becoming a millionaire is still possible. Being proposed at in front of Eiffel Tower in Paris could still happen with the right guy and having that beach wedding is still possible even if I'm already a mom of two beautiful kids. So maybe, I can still get what I want, but maybe not anymore in the order that I want it. That was the clarity that happened to me yesterday when I talked to Michelle. That was when I finally felt at peace about everything that's happening in my life so far.
So thank you, spirit guides, for affirming my current decision. Thank you for always being there for me when I need you. Thank you for never leaving my side.
Til my next tarot card reading! (^_^)