PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE TAROT CARD SPREAD
I've mentioned numerous times before that Halloween is always on the top of my most celebrated seasons list. This year, I've planned it in such a way that we'll be celebrating it for an entire month (Oct. 6- Nov. 3). As soon as Peter and I started decorating the house last Oct. 11, making it look like a fun & spooky place , I've again become more active in my "other worldly activities" (a.k.a. witchcraft). I am again doing personal tarot card readings, casting spells and reading palms, mostly for myself, for Peter and for our house. Soon to follow will be for my family and closest of friends.
Oh, just to make it clear to everyone reading this who might be a bit ignorant of these things, witchcraft in itself is neither good nor bad. It depends on how one uses it. As for me, I am synergizing these skills with the things I learned about The Secret / The Law of Attraction and spirituality.
Anyway, I just want to share this freakishly accurate Tarot card reading I had last weekend... To give you a bit of a background, I've been extremely emotional the last couple of days. I was feeling so depressed about my work due to impossible tasks that my boss was asking me to do. I have been working around 14-18 hours a day and I just felt so burnt out.
Despite the financial freedom my job provides me and my family, I felt (and I still do) that it's not worth it anymore. I resigned from GSIS to pursue my passions in life (traveling; doing theater and TV acting again on the side; going to VTRs; writing my book, setting up a small business for my kikay stuff, etc.) and I feel like I am back to where I started. Only this time, I have more money to fall back on.
HOWEVER, money truly can't buy happiness. So I told Peter about my plans of finally doing what I set out to do. After all, I am not getting any younger and I don't want to grow old or die young without having done the things I set out to do. Hopefully, his businesses pick up fast so money won't be an issue. With this paradigm in mind, I drew my past, present and future Tarot Cards.
Tarot Cards basically serve as a mirror of one's self. But it's not just a matter of interpreting it in self prophesizing ways. The person's energy and emotions play a big part in it. As you shuffle the cards and spread the entire deck, face down, in front of you, there will always be a card that will seem to call on you ... "Pick me! Pick me!" It's not just you picking the card as much as the card is picking you. Here, synchronicity does its work and magic.
The card on the left (which represents MY PAST) is called the Magician. It is one of the 22 Major Arcana and it symbolizes fulfillment of dreams. "The Magician is the archetypal achiever. He taps into the universal forces to get results." Indeed, this was me before. This was the Jen that made her big dreams come true--- that of quitting the coporate world and staying at home to do the things she loves. I want to believe that this is still me now. But I have to be honest and realistic. I have to acknowledge that right now, I am not achieving the results and level of happiness that I want and I am not practicing what I am preaching. That is why when I opended MY PAST, I started getting teary eyed. And by the time I opened the card in the middle which symbolizes MY PRESENT, I was already crying.
What came out was THE SHADOW (also known as THE DEVIL). If I was a newbie at this, I would have probably had a heart attack! But this card is not as bad as it looks. It basically depicts bondage to materialism and temptations. "The Devil appears when we are literally in the dark." And that is where I am right now. How freakishly true! How many times have I blogged or plurked about buying this and that; or spending this and that much???!!! I am bound by my desire for material wealth if only to fill up this void inside of me. And I need and want to break free. "The positive aspect of the Devil is that the card asks us to accept our limitations, to develop awareness of self and others, and to understand that we may be bound and chained to a narrow perspective or living under other people's expectations.... You are bound by your fears , beliefs or a situation that is unhealthy for you." Oh how true!!!! I am now a full grown adult at thirty, I am my family's breadwinner and my grandfather expects me to be this and that. But really, that isn't me! If money is not an issue in my family, I would've gladly pursued The Arts instead of being a glorified slave. On the other hand, I have always been thankful of my job's monetary and intellectual benefits and the things that it could afford me and my family. I believe this card is telling me to let go of my fears and to just be. So what if my boss gets angry for not getting the results he wanted? As long as I know that I did my best then that should be enough. He can fire me if he wants to. A better opportunity is always waiting for me. That should be my mindset. Strike a balance. Everything has limitations. Even I do. So I accept that and I should be able to work around it.
With tears freely flowing this time around, I opened my third card which symbolizes my future. I got THE MOON. This card symbolizes a lot of things that are crucial to where and who I am now. It depicts unrealistic dreams, feeling confused, worried and apprehensive, trust in one's intuition, and losing touch with reality. With these depictions, "The Moon says to find your way, however hard it seems, or to identify your fears. Trust in your instincts." When I quit GSIS before, it was purely instinct that drove me. The feeling was so out of this world. It's like having a divine orgasm and it permeated my whole being. Without further thinking, I resigned, didn't go to work anymore and things just started happening for me. This time around, it's different. I know I am being too emotional and irritable. I am not 100% sure if quitting my job right now is the answer I'm looking for. We have a house and car to pay for, my family is counting on me especially now that I have a nephew and both my brother and her gf are not working. We have a certain lifestyle that we love to maintain and Peter has his own agenda to contend with. So I am really left with no choice (sort of). If I do quit my job, funds will start to dwindle and my family will suffer. If I stay the way I used to, I might just go crazy. It's good that The Moon came up in my reading and it was able to guide me well. My instinct was telling me to ride it out, find my way, however hard it seems... verbalize to my boss my needs somehow. And last night, I did. So far, he doesn't want to let me go. But at least now, I am no longer driving myself to exhaustion. I logged off after 9 hours (as compared to 14-18 hours before) and I am able to do other things (like blogging right now, yay! ... then drums and shopping later when Peter wakes up. And I don't start work again until 8PM. Yay!).
One more thing, if you notice, all the cards that came out were Major Arcana cards. "The Major Arcana, meaning 'great or big secrets' , represent the most fundamental energies of life." This means that all these things are major issues in my life. And I need to deal with them as delicately and as soon as possible or else it will definitely haunt me for a long period of time. Having read my Tarot Cards helped focus my energy to what the problem really is. And that's basically what it's all about. They act as a mirror so you can fully see yourself and identify the positive and negative aspects of your inner life.
Aside from reading my Tarot Cards, I also cast some good spells for the house, for Peter and for my dreams. There are still a few other spells that I plan to do but I have to wait 'til the eve of the New Moon which won't be until Oct. 28. Look at this money spell I did last year which really came true. I cast a spell to see Php500k in my own personal bank account and by the time it came true, I actually had twice that amount! I'm a millionaire! Peter was so amazed that it actually helped him erase all his doubts and skepticism towards The Law of Attraction. It also made him quit his job and let me take care of him for once. So it's really just a matter of focusing your emotions to feeling good that you already have what you want, and as Rhonda Byrne wrote in her book, The Secret, when you're ready, the universe will ultimately correspond to the nature of your song.