Two weeks before I finally decided to quit my job and take some time off from work to know myself more and hopefully discern my calling, I drew the following spread in my Tarot cards. It was a dark time for me. I was not at peace and my heart was always calling out to something more... more than the daily grind of working for money. It was yearning for something that is both meaningful and productive. I still don't know what that is. But I am grateful for the time that I am allowed to rest, take care of personal matters and hopefully be at peace.
Oct. 23, 2008
Tarot Spread: 1-No Longer Matters; 2- Has Been Fulfilled; 3-Will Carry Me Forward; 4-Change I Must Embrace
1 -Six of Wands
"Self-Inflation is preventing you from following your true path".
It no longer matters who is victorious, who is not... as long as I did my best and stand proud of what I did. But I shouldn't be to proud of myself. Learn to praise others too and accept their achievements. Let go of my desire to be the center of the universe.
2 - The World
"You've met the ultimate partner, found the perfect vocation and there is no turning back. You are becoming more aware of who you are, your limitations, your choices and taking responsibility for yourself."
My worldly dreams have already been fulfilled. I am rich in love, material things, health, intellectual gifts. Great things have happened to me and I have reaped the fruits of my labor. My dreams have come true. And I am grateful and thankful to God and the universe. Everything I need, want and love is all around me or within my grasp. My destiny has come true and it continues to do so.
3 - Nine of Pentacles
"Self indulgence; accomplishment; independence; self-reliance; knowing you are in control of the situation; financial and material security; an inner sense of security."
The feeling and state of being content and happy with who I am now, who I am with, what I have, what I can do... these things will carry me forward and continue to motivate me to strive and do what I'm doing. I was also right when I thought that financial freedom will always carry me forward. The sense of being accomplished at my age is enough force to motivate me to continue with my work, my life. (This reading actually made me stay with my job for one more week. But ensuing readings gave me another insight.)
4 - Queen of Cups
"Emotional understanding has a high priority in your life right now... you will have to let go of any resentments or anger and be more compassionate with yourself and others; Be patient and calm; be willing to help the underdog."
Being in control of my emotions, my moods, my temperaments; Being refined in my actions, being more mature. As I get older, I should grow to be more mature, compassionate, kind and understanding; I should be able to let go of my emotional pain so I can allow others inside my heart. By forgiving and letting go, I can be more for others and myself.
Oct. 27, 2008
Tarot Spread: 1- Current Issues; 2 - How to Resolve; 3 - Outcome
1 -Four of Swords
"Our own past prevents us from moving on. We feel stuck, paralyzed by our fears and doubts... Confrontation with others is not appropriate right now... time to be more conscious about any unspoken agreement in your relationship."
I do have amazing ideas, dreams, aspirations, goals... but they're all up in the air. There's one that I consider most inportant. Yet I'm sitting on it and not acting on it at this time. And I do feel stuck and paralyzed and it pains me a lot. However, I may have to sit it out first. Actually, I am already sitting it out, for the longest time. The card is saying that I am doing nothing except thinking and analyzing my current problems which is so true. These are definitly my issues at the moment and as far as i can remember.
2 - Queen of Pentacles
"She is there for everyone, always available, reliable, home-loving, willing to do anything for her clan and all without any fuss. She is the kind of person you admire, envy or even hate. Whoever the Queen represents, she also points a finger at you and says look within yourself and find your nurturing side..."
In order for me to resolve my current issues, I may have to be mature and wise in terms of taking care of what I consider important to me...or what I consider my wealth. It could be my family, my talents & abilities, my material wealth. I have to nurture my creativity and take care of myself.
3 - Four of Wands
" Time of rejoicing and celebrating... indulge in fun... represents events and people who will come into your world to lighten up your life. You can now free yourself from any circumstances that don't suit you."
There's celebration in the future. My gift of intuition, my desires will be rewarded and celebrated. If I take care of myself and nurture my desires, then I can be free. People and events will come to me and lighten up my life.
And so, these readings and interpretations, coupled with analysis, meditation, listening to my gut and following Peter's advice and counsel, all these led to where I am now. I'd like to believe that the dark hours are over. It may not be daylight yet. But at least a new dawn has come. And I am embracing this moment to bring back to God what has always been his gifts to me (as soon as I figure them out along the way).